MARTIAL ARTS HELP BATTERED WOMEN BY MEN

About 40 years ago, a 22 year old woman decided to go to a gym in a nearby town, to learn how to defend herself.

That young woman had always lived in a safe neighborhood ... and had not had any problems with aggression... but she was aware that that could change at any time, even in a more "safe" time than today, because no one is invulnerable.

She had no experience in the Self Defense, only her own criteria to judge what she saw.

In the gym she was invited to watch a Judo class, but this young, slim woman who weighed about 50 kilos (112lbs), THOUGHT FOR HERSELF and told herself: "With my body, I have no chance in a struggle and / or fight on the floor against a man."

She also watched a Karate class, but at that time Karate was trained very frontally, “going to the front” using many punches and occasional kick...

and again she THOUGHT FOR HERSELF and told herself: "With my body ... I have no chance of winning against a man using only my little fists."

Then she watched a Tang Soo Do (Tang Su Do) class ... he saw that there were many kicks... and she THOUGHT FOR HERSELF as follows: "Well ... at least with the kicks I would have a chance against a man" ... and she started training TSD.

Contrary to what some readers may be thinking ... I did not know her at that time ... I just met her when she was already TSD orange belt and I was a green belt ... ... and that was when she told me her thoughts.

I congratulated her on her clarity of vision when she decided to learn martial arts to defend herself, without having any previous problems that compelled her (that is prevention) ...

and the good judgment to think for herself and choose what was best for her... not being swayed by the opinion of others.

Although it makes me sad to see that even today, over 40 years later and with so many films, articles and TV shows that demonstrate that theme, there still are many women who do not have the clarity of vision and good judgment that this 22 year old woman demonstrated so long ago.

Today there are many places where women can “supposedly” learn how to defend themselves from a male attacker on the street.

Why have I written "supposedly"?

Because many times, what women learn in a gym as “Personal Defense techniques”... ONLY works within the walls of the gym ... and ONLY if the attacker is a classmate during the class.

Note that:

1- There are places where they “say” they teach women how to defend themselves on the street...

      - But they spend there a lot of time practicing "strong positions" or "firm positions" 
        (Static)... when the truth is that a woman cannot "stand firm" to withstand the 
        attack of a man, but she should move quickly from one side to the other, 
        so as not to be  trapped or be a "fixed target" for man’s blows.

      - They spend a lot of time making moves without adversary... 
        almost everything is trained "against air"

      - They throw many "kicks" on the air ... that do not hit anything hard...

      - They just hit focus gloves... which everyone knows that even an 8 years old could 
        "shake"...

      - They just break "thin wooden boards" of 1 cm thick ... that even an 8 years old 
        child could break…

      - But they NEVER break wooden boards 1 inch thick (2.5 cm) there...

      - They NEVER hit heavy bags so strong they will "shake" them there...

      - They will NEVER ask a male-mate "Hold me strongly... to see if I can REALLY 
         release myself from this grip" or "Hit me quickly and “more-or-less” 
        strongly... to see if I can really defend myself well.

         And basically they NEVER prove to themselves whether what they are training
        would work for them in a real case.

2 - There are also some places where teachers stick too much to the rules ... always 
      respecting the protocol ... always so formal ... they never get to practice actual 
      combat  situations ...  everything is all measured… all choreographed ... 
      all "a bit" unreal.

3 - There are also some places where teachers make women and girls practice the 
      techniques as if they had same muscles and weight like a man (which clearly they 
      do not have) ... but never make them fight "seriously" against men... and so 
      they cannot check if what they do is useful against a REAL (male) attacker.

It is as if those teachers could not understand that women and girls need techniques and teachings adapted to their bodies and physical possibilities (which are not those of a man) when they have to fight a man...

In the past I have talked about issues like this one... but this time I will go considerably further ... this time I will try to show some of the REALITY of battered women... which is quite different from some teachers think about what happens when women have to defend themselves.

First at all, every woman should speak with one or more women who had really been beaten by a man... to see what a woman feels in that situation.

Actually, on that particular subject, women should give more credit to those women who had been REALLY beaten by a man, than what their Instructor / Teacher / Professor - who’s usually a man - can tell them... due to the fact he, by being a man, cannot have a clear and complete vision of what a woman feels in these cases...

Some female students might say to me: !!... How I am not going to believe him!! ... If he knows so much!!... It would be disrespectful!!"

And I would answer: "A woman... Who would she ask what underwear she must use when she trains? ... To a male Professor? ... Or to another woman who is already training and then has the personal experience of what she is trying to learn? "

Here is something similar. Here we are not talking about "theory of motion" or "combat tactics" ... we are talking about the inner feelings of a battered woman... something only another woman can understand. Remember ... you are taking care of your own life ... and taking care of your own life is more important than any other consideration.

Let's go to the "blunt" part of this note.

I warn you that in the following lines appear some photos of women that have been severely injured by men.

Sensitive people should not go on reading ... although I sincerely hope that women, for their own good, be encouraged to do so.

Let's start with something not so "hard".

Let's start with what a woman has to face when she is attacked.

This is does not look like what many women train in gyms... or learn from books...

now see in the picture on right the "terrible and suffocating" grip this woman is grabbed with... as they are explaining Women self-defense techniques.

For goodness’ sake!… 
Who attacks this way in real life?

and note... the attacker is smaller than her...

and these photos were taken from a book that, in all other subjects, is very good.

Tell me ... with one hand on your heart...

Are attacks such as this one not the ones most women “have to face" in some classes... when they train "self-defense against a man"?

and when all the class is practicing Self Defense... Do Instructors not usually put children or teenagers, but no man, to "attack" female students?... while men practiced among themselves…

How can they properly prepare a woman to defend herself training in this way?

These exercises have nothing to do with real life ... especially because in real life WOMEN FEEL A LOT OF PAIN WHEN THEY ARE GRABBED, WHEN SOMEONE TAKES THEIR BREATH AWAY, WHEN THEIR HAIR IS FORCEFULLY PULLED, WHEN THEY ARE BEATEN ... AND FEEL THE TERROR OF BEING ALONE AND CORNERED BY “AN ANIMAL” WHO CAN ACTUALLY KILL THEM (see the 6 photos above and imagine it).

Do I exaggerate?

Let us look more "hard" photos

These are the results of men who beat women

And here a "beautiful fairy tale"... that ended badly...

below you have another victim

I could put hundreds of photos like these ones...

I could put pictures of women who were killed by "animals" that previously were boyfriends, husbands, partners, friends, relatives, neighbors, acquaintances...

I ASK YOU: Are women ready to deal with this?

Are women who practice martial arts really prepared to deal with such violence?

Because the truth is that I have watched MANY women, from MANY styles, over MANY years, performing tests and demonstrations of Self-Defense techniques that "supposedly" would serve to fend off an attacker "on the street".

And I honestly say, I am convinced that 3 out of 4 women I've seen doing those demonstrations... in a real case… would have ended as the beaten women in the previous photos.

Why? Because in those 75% of the demonstrations I watched occurred the following:

- Each "attack" performed by the male attacker was previously known by the defender 

  (no surprise),

- Because she is waiting for the attack, and often the same woman is who gives 
   the order for starting the attack (just as in real life...).

- Because it is a single attack ... and it stops there ... and there are not several 
  combined attacks.

- Because the "attackers" were moving slowly and without energy, without trying to 
  deceive her, attacking with large and clearly visible movements.

- Because the attacker does not resist and just as he is beaten or locked with a 
  joint-lock or a grip ...  he becomes "completely defence-less" or "collapsed".

- Because she shows how to "release" from a grip and a "supposed" way to defeat the 

  opponent with a joint-lock or a blow... but that in the 75% of the demonstrations 
  I saw… ALL THE AUDIENCE could see that what she did would NOT be enough 
  for a woman in a real case.

- Because they show the four or five "defense techniques against fist attack/stick/knife" 

  taught  in the program... techniques that can work well for a man... but with the
  difference in weight and normal force between man and woman ... it would be 
  much more difficult for her.

See the next picture published in a newspaper on the training of members of a security force, which is based on Martial Arts

It is "supposed" that this technique allows a woman to defeat a man.

- There are around 30 kgs’s difference 
  in favor of the attacker. 
  In "this" case... 

  Can anyone believe that these young women can actually stop a real man‘s blow with "this movement"?

- See the right fist’s counter-attack of these women to the Solar Plexus’ attacker… 

  Can the fist of "those" girls REALLY stop a man who overweighs them by more 
  than 30 kgs, by blowing his CHEST?
The idea of ​this ​defense technique is not bad ... it's just that technique will not help these women against a MAN. If these women are trained in the way this photo shows, none of them would be properly prepared to face a real fight.

Obviously the other 25% of the women I saw could defend themselves on the street with what they practice ... they clearly do not need to read this article... but... 
Who takes care of the other 75% ... that DO need it?

After seeing these pictures of battered women, certainly many men, and some women will say, "If I had been there ... it would have been the man who have finished this way!"

Sure... but usually ... they are NOT there at the time the woman is beaten...

and then the actions of those "Brave Avengers" remain only in words.

But the truth is that YOU CAN DO MUCH MORE "than wishing you had been there."

A) If you are a woman who’s not trained in martial arts... immediately seek a serious place where you learn a Martial Art that REALLY TEACH YOU HOW TO DEFEND YOURSELF FROM A MAN IN REAL LIFE.

How could you recognize that place?

Please go back and read this note’s 3 points after detail of this heading:

    "Because many times, what women learn in a gym as “Personal Defense techniques”

     ONLY works within the walls of the gym ... and ONLY if the attacker is a classmate

     during the class."

If you find a place where you are treated seriously and where you are taught something which serves YOU IN REAL LIFE... sign up there immediately...

and when you confirm the teachings there is what you really need... bring all the adult women, young women and girls you can there... perhaps you would be saving the life of any of them ... maybe your sister, your mother, your cousin, your daughter, your friend, your neighbor.

B) If you are a female Martial Artist... USE YOUR CRITICAL EYE, LOOK AROUND AND THINK CAREFULLY WHETHER WHAT YOU ARE TAUGHT THERE would really serve TO DEFEND YOURSELF FROM A MAN IN REAL LIFE ... and when you are sure of that, then bring all the adult women, young women and girls you can there... perhaps you would be saving the life of any of them... maybe your sister, your mother, your cousin, your daughter, your friend, your neighbor.

And if your teacher does NOT teach techniques that you feel would serve YOU... TELL HIM... with all due respect... but TELL HIM... and according to the response you receive, decide what to do... to take care of your life.

C) If you are a man with no martial arts knowledge... immediately seek a serious place where a woman could learn techniques that would  REALLY SERVE HER TO DEFEND HERSELF FROM A MAN IN REAL LIFE.

Even if you have NO experience in martial arts, as a man you will surely have more experience and judgment about what a real fight is that many women...

and when you find a good place… bring all the adult women, young women and girls you can there... perhaps you would be saving the life of any of them... maybe your sister, your mother, your girlfriend, your wife, your cousin, your daughter, your friend, your neighbor.

D) If you are already a male Martial Artist ... and know the difference between a sport, an educational activity and a martial art that works in real fights ..

when you find a good place for women, bring all the adult women, young women and girls you can there... perhaps you would be saving the life of any of them... maybe your sister, your mother, your girlfriend, your wife, your cousin, your daughter, your friend, your neighbor.

¿Am I overreacting?

Look at the picture on the right ( "before" and "after" the same person).
I prefer to perhaps exaggerate with these issues instead of regreting later because a woman, or a teenager or a child that I know ended this way because she did not know how DEFEND HERSELF FROM A  MAN WHO ATTACKED HER.

Now, my dear readers… What will you do about it?

Till now, there were considerations for students and non-practitioners.

To end, some considerations for instructors who have female students.

There are Instructors / Teachers / Masters who say things like these:

"Here we FIRSTLY focus on teaching the "Concepts" (or "Managing Your Own Energy" or "How to Use the Opponent’s Energy" or "Adequate Mental Mindset")... once the student masters it, 10, 100 or 1000 effective techniques will naturally arise."

It reminds me of the famous saying:

"If you give a hungry man a fish, feed him today.

 If you teach him to fish, you will feed him for life"

This sentence says something very true ... but it is INCOMPLETE.

It is NOT said there that a hungry person has no time (or probably energy) to learn to fish NOW, then take fishing gear… go to a river or lake... and sit and wait to catch a fish... and cook it… AND THEN have something to eat.

The hungry man must be given a fish RIGHT NOW and ONLY AFTER BE ALSO TAUGHT HOW TO FISH

If a student takes the first class today… How do I know she's not going to be attacked THIS VERY NIGHT... way home... or at home?

I invite Instructors / Teachers / Masters who teach this way to see the photo on the right... 

Suppose that young girl has only been practicing during two weeks in your classes, and you have so far only taught her the "Concepts" (or "Managing Your Own Energy" or "How to Use the Opponent’s Energy" or "Adequate Mental Mindset")... for ONCE SHE MASTERS THEM, she can develop "10, 100 or 1000 effective techniques" ...

and today a jealous ex-boyfriend came across her in the street ... 

and as she does not want to come back with him, that "animal" leaves her face like this.

"What bad luck you had!!... If this attack had occurred after 6 months or a year, the "Concepts" (or "Managing Your Own Energy" or "How to Use the Opponent’s Energy" or "Adequate Mental Mindset") I had been teaching you would have enabled you to defend yourself."

To every student (male or female) who begins to practice with me, from the first day I teach them two or three blows and basic defenses AND I TRAIN THEM TO USE THOSE TECHNIQUES IN REAL CASES... although they do not understand them... although they train those ones in an "automatic mode". I know that in only one class they cannot learn much... but for those who do not know anything... learning two or three simple techniques can mean improving their chances in a real fight by 10%, 20% or 30%... and that may be what prevents them from being severely injured… or killed.

Of course I will teach them LATER the "Concepts" (or "Managing Your Own Energy" or "How to Use the Opponent’s Energy" or "Adequate Mental Mindset")... and everything they could need...

But FIRSTLY I will give them the basic tools with which to do something in a real fight...

First I will feed the hungry man (or woman) and then I will teach them how to fish.

Life and physical integrity of women is A SERIOUS MATTER...

Each Instructor / Teacher / Professor knows that it is his responsibility to teach his students how to defend themselves adequately from the very first class, so that if one of them is attacked by a man... 

after the attack she looks like this way 

and not like this way...

I know this note is very long, and it contains very shocking pictures...

but it seemed to me that this matter deserved so long a note.

por SBN Ricardo A. Longinotti (7º Dan - TANG SOO DO MI GUK KWAN - ARGENTINA)

NOTA: por cualquier duda o necesidad de mayores detalles sobre éste u otros temas de TSD, puede enviar un e-mail a tsdlonginotti@hotmail.com o dirigirse personalmente a las clases de TSD MGK, en los días y horarios especificados en el título de este Blog.